I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
