I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize