i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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