your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
