Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
