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i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
