I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
