watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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