I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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