dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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