So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
