New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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