How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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