I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
