so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize