I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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