I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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