I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
