shes about as inviting as chlamydia
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
