So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
