he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
