So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
