I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
