Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Drake has all the answers
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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