I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
and she was petting her beer can
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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