dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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