If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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