She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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