David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
