Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Randomize
