How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
