My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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