That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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