i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
