1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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