so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize