she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
