I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
