Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
