oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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