All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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