You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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