I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
