all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
