ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize