stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
