is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize