just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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