time to smoke my breakfast
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
