I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
