Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
