You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
