yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
