C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My vagina is officially offended.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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