walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
