i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
