I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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