my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
