Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
