Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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