i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
