I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
