You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
