So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
