At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i now understand why vodka
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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