My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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