They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
