i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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