Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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