Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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