What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
