She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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