he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
