you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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