DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
