So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
